Logfile from Brass&Steel.

<OOC> Harriet hugs you both. "Harriet will...probably pass out at this
point, as well. She's been up for over twenty-four hours, ICly. She'll
fall asleep. Do with her as you will." :P

Harriet has disconnected.

Ruby nods, taking a deep breath and looks down, "Forgive me father...for
I have sinned. It has been many thousand years since my last
confession.", she says. Silly as it might normally sound, she -means- it
and she folds her hands and closes her eyes. Clinging on to prayer like
there was -nothing- else -left- for her. And maybe there isn't. "I was in
the room when Lucifer told God that he couldn't serve humanity. God had
bidden us all...to bow and serve humanity as we served him. Lucifer
thought he meant -serve-. Not "Help them and guide them...assist them in
building good lives in my image.". Lucifer said he couldn't...because God
had said "Don't serve anyone but me.". He was envious...that suddenly he
had to divide his attentions. But he was so...radiant. So convincing. All
of us who heard...we thought he was right. When he was so wrong. But I
listened...I heard him speak and I couldn't fight it. I was so weak. I
loved God. I never wanted the fight to come. I loved Him...I thought that
we were -showing- that love by saying we couldn't serve others because
-he- was our only Lord. But we were so wrong...and I sinned. And I fell
because of it.", she says...obviously there is much more.

Zach listens solemnly, while fighting to keep the sheer enormity of the
situation from showing too much. One of the Original Fallen has choosen
him as a confidant, and, and... He steadies his breath and nods to her.
"I hear you, sister. Please, go on."

Ruby keeps her eyes closed, "Then the war began. God was angry with us.
Many of us didn't understand why. We...thought we had shown Him all our
love. And he was furious. Lucifer...none of us understood him anymore.
His first words were so wise...if based on a hopeless
misinterpretation...then he became so full of spite and bile. Like...like
the rejection of God had turned him into something else.
Something...horrible. The first Balseraph. The greatest liar. He lied to
himself. He lied to us. He lied to the symphony itself. I tried to hide
from the fighting. I couldn't take it. I couldn't stomach it. There was
so much blood...", she shudders, hard, and speaks a few words in enochian
before she manages to calm down. "Adrpan. Cnila...esiasch cnila.". Then
she opens her eyes again and looks at you, "I tried to hide. I didn't
want more blood. Angels tearing angels limb from limb. Brothers and
sisters...dead...all around me. It was horrible. -Horrible-. It wasn't
what we had wanted or expected. Then Lucifer and Michael charged each
other. I was...in their path. Right between them. Michael just...swatted
me aside. I don't think he even -noticed- me. But...when War swats...you
keep flying for a long, long time...I ended up being beaten out of
heaven. I fell...for so long. When I woke...my tail was stuck inside a
rockface and I couldn't get out. I was -caught-. My wings looked
horrible. Darkened. I realized...something dreadful had happened but I
could not escape and I couldn't call for help. Noone was there. Noone saw
me...", she goes on...

Zach listens to her story and has a hard time keeping himself from
becoming utterly ensnared by it. He has to steel himself to remember
keeping an eye out for their surroundings. But really, the only
surrounding right now is the tired and hurting being next to him on the
bench.

Ruby keeps looking at you. There is the most tremendous loneliness and
pain in her eyes. "I stayed there for so long I lost track of time. Then
I lost track...of losing track. Imagine what it was like...to hang down
from a rockface...knowing that the -only- entertainment you had...was to
watch drops of water -erode- that very rock away...knowing that in just a
FEW million years, you'd be free again, because then the rock would be
gone down to your reptilian tail? I was so alone. For someone who...had
heard all of creation sing in her ears, the silence was horrifying. I was
so...-so- scared. Then one day...suddenly, there was this -hideous-
creature. Ugly as sin...TWICE as ugly...or so it seemed. A djinn. It was
the first living thing I'd seen for all those years. And he obviously
knew I was -there-. He came up to me...offered to let me out of the rock.
If I would serve -his- master. It sounded to me like...when I had served
Marc...you see? Like...serving an archangel. It didn't sound so
different. I was desperate to get out. The thought of this ugly creature
turning around and leaving me there if I said no. I couldn't take it. I
said I would accept his terms. And so...Malphas arranged for me to be let
out."

Zach meets her gaze as steadily as he can. His eyes have widened and
there's a hint of moistness in them that reveals the impact her story is
having on him. Wonder, horror and sympathy is fighting in his eyes, none
of them winning at this point. He swallows and tries to speak, "I... I
cannot even -begin- to imagine... I'm a mere babe compared to you,
sister. But I will keep your story inside my heart and my mind for as
long as I live. Please continue," he softly bids her.

Ruby looks up towards the skies for a moment. As if she tries to remember
something. Then she lowers her eyes again. Her hands are still folded.
"It was the year 1770. It took some time to get used to what the world I
had ended up in was all about. I was in the Cisalpine Alps. It
was...actually a country in its own right back then. By the time I had
gotten myself acclimatized somewhat...the french revolution started. Do
you know the story of Marianne? The woman that became a symbol of the
French Revolution...?", she asks and looks down, "That was me. I was
Marianne. I was a symbol. People fought for me. Some didn't think I
existed. Others were half crazed or worse. All the while I did my best to
make sure that their "Freedom and equality" thoughts didn't go -too- far.
I made sure they started tearing into each others throats. They did. I
wasn't alone at it. There were a good few of Malphas' people around
but...I was there and I was one of them. Then Michael got
involved...blessed Napoleon Bonaparte and suddenly the chaos ended and
the french got order again. We didn't give in and tried to turn Napoleon
against Michael and heaven. WE made him march east to Russia. Michael
made the russians burn their crops and flee east. In the end...Napoleon
was sent to Elba. I followed him. Only me. I whispered in his ear while
in exile and made him want to return. That led to the famous "one hundred
days"...and to Waterloo. Kings lost their crowns because of it. Princes
their realms. Malphas was proud of me. And I kept lying to myself, saying
"It's not that bad. It'll all be over soon and everything will be good
and it won't hurt anymore."."

Zach blinks slightly and shakes his head in amazement. All his sneses are
focused on her now, drinking in each and every word and gesture, as if to
make sure no details get lost or forgotten.

Ruby takes a deep breath to concentrate. "I changed my vessels several
times in the following years. To stay safe, you see. A lot of you
blackwings were on to me after the one hundred days. I stayed low and
went to the United States. It was a new country and it was easy to hide.
Malphas had a lot of lackeys here. A LOT. Did you know that Martin van
Buren had two Balseraphs on his cabinet? Both of them were servants of
Malphas. A president of the United States with demons in his cabinet.",
she shakes her head sadly, "They took a big, big part in getting the
slaves from Amistad aquitted. Don't look surprised. It wasn't an act of
kindness. That started the chain of events that led to the shattering of
the union and the creation of the Confederate States of America. I took
part in that. We all did. Spread rumors in the north about the HORRIBLE
slave-owners in the south. And spread rumors in the south about the
UNCIVILIZED, DREADFUL yankees from the north who'd come riding in and
ruin the southern way of life. Even before the war, we created so many
schisms and so many factions it still...it STILL lingers until today.Then
they fired on Fort Sumter. We had a big party that night. I remember how
my stomach was turning and twisting while the other demons smiled and
cheered each other for it. Even Baals servants were pleased and...Baal is
a harsh taskmaster. But I smiled too and laughed and cheered and praised
our work. I hated myself. I -hated- it. But I lied to myself. "just a few
more days. A few more weeks. A few more months. A couple of years...then
there won't be any more pain and EVERYTHING will be fine and okay
again.". I don't think...I ever told myself -how- it'd all be fine and
okay again. I just...lied to myself. Over and over again. Saminga got a
lot of new toys during that war. God help me I helped start it...", she
says and her voice cracks again, "How can anyone forgive me for all
this??"

Zach listens quietly and tilts his head. "Because Love never ends. It
knows no bounds. It's Archangel may have broken and Fallen, but the Love
of the Divine does not end. You will be forgiven, Rubicante. The
difficult bit will be for you to forgive -yourself-," he says with
absolute certainty. "That lesson I learned through personal experience."

Ruby nods, "but there is more...I have to tell you the whole thing.", she
says, quietly. "Anyway...the civil war ended. Saminga wanted more
corpses. Malphas had had enough of war. It was time to make post-war
enmities blossom. So he sent a Shedite...a man I knew...to whisper in the
ear of John Wilkes Booth. One gunshot later, noone talked of war anymore.
Kobal sent a couple of Balseraphs around and the idea of Carpetbaggers
rose. The rest of us laid low for a while. Me too. For a long time. I had
to. Once more, I had you blackwings hunting me and...I had to run for my
life. I should've stopped, Zach.", she says, quietly. "I should've
stopped and let them catch me. It'd all have ended. But I was too
afraid...and I kept running. From myself...from the Malakim...from the
truth. Just a few more lies here and a few more lies there...and it'd all
be fine. I kept saying so. I kept thinking so. I didn't really get
involved again until the automobile was invented. Trust me, Henry Ford
was a decent man. I couldn't touch him. I tried though. So...I got into
big business with Chrysler instead and other automobile manufacturers.
Then the first world war happened. I didn't have anything to do with
that, I swear. I didn't do that. That wasn't me. I -promise-."

Zach nods and leans forward, resting his forarms on his thighs and
folding his hands. He looks up at her with a small but warm smile. "It
stands to reason. You were in America at the time."

Ruby rubs her nose, "For a while. I went back to England for a short
visit...and I think...the one good thing I did...the one act of rebellion
against all the evil, I did during that war. I gave the english the idea
of "Watertanks for Mesopotamia". You see...that's why armored fighting
vehicles today are called "tanks". "Watertanks for Mesopotamia" was the
code name they used so the germans didn't learn what it really was. I
know...it's hard to see creating a weapon as anything positive but the
war was completely deadlocked. A man died every six seconds at the Somme.
When the english used tanks...it finally broke the german lines and...so
many died but...if they hadn't gotten a weapon like that...who knows how
many MORE would've died. It was a sick way of trying to do something
right...but I didn't know what else to do. I kept telling myself
afterwards that...maybe I had saved some lives...maybe.". She shakes her
head and sighs. "I went on to work on Wall Street. A whole bunch of
Malphas' people did. Right alongside Mammons most dedicated servants. We
caused the crash in '29. God only knows how many lives were destroyed. I
remember...taking a stroll down Wall Street while it -litterally- rained
accountants. People who gave up and jumped out of windows in such numbers
there were always at least three in the air and one expiring on the
ground. It was -sick-. It was all lies. Then...I had to hide again. I hid
until recently. I didn't get involved anything until I went here...to
Kansas. Here I found love. Real...-unselfish- love. A woman more
important to me...than my own -life-. Someone I would've died for. And as
the horror of it would have it....she was a demon too. I think maybe that
was what made me realize I had to stop running. I had to go home. I had
to say I'm sorry and stop lying to myself. I had to admit that everything
wouldn't be fine with just a little more time. I'm so sorry Zach. For all
I've done. I can't ever...ever make up for it. But maybe...I can help do
something good in the future."

"I will hold you to that, Rubicante." Zach fixes her with steady,
confident eyes. "For all we know... Your courage and willingness to face
the Music may sow a seed of hope in your lover as well. You make it
through the struggle you face now, and perhaps - in the long run - it
will help her too."

Ruby nods, "I hope so. She'd be beautiful as an angel.", she says,
quietly. "Thank you for listening to me. I just...I had to get it off my
shoulders. I am so sorry..."

"You are welcome, Ruby." He smiles to her with warmth and love freely
given. There is no warning, no preparation or indrawn breath, so perhaps
this is what is most natural to him. "You'll make it, and you will be
welcomed."

Ruby looks down again, "I'm not even sure if I should be welcomed
anymore. After what I've done. But...if you say I will be...", she sighs,
"I doubt I'll ever be trusted and I don't blame people about that."

Zach reaches out and takes one of her hands, giving it a firm squeeze.
"You will be a Seraph, and that will make it easier for people to trust
you. It will, however, take time. But like I said, the worst bit will be
for you to learn to forgive and trust yourself."

Ruby nods, "I don't think I should forgive myself for what I have done. I
should remember it. Learn from it. Keep it with me as a reminder of my
shame. Of my weakness. And of how deep one can fall...so easily."

Zach clears his throat, "You can come to peace with yourself and still
remember, though. You do not need to punish yourself when God has
forgiven you by letting his Archangel cleanse your soul."

Ruby nods. A little light comes on in her eyes, "Cleansing my soul.
That...sounds nice.", she says, in a timid voice. "It'll...be like I'm a
new person. A clean slate. A second chance. A chance to do -right-. I
need to get a hold of my bank soon though. I need to make sure the money
is available. So I can...so I can start it up. Would you help me too?
Like Harriet said she would? I mean...I'd understand if you can't or
won't..."

Zach's smile widens into a grin. "Of course I will help you, sister! It's
what I -do-. I am and has always been a support guy. I've never done any
big and glamorous things, I've always worked with little things and in
the background. I help other angels."

Ruby nods, "I'm not an angel yet. But...I will be. I -will- be. I finally
have a purpose. One that isn't all about me and about causing others
grief and suffering. And there's plenty of things you could do to help
children grow up to be good people. Like Harriet. I'll...I'll be needing
teachers.", she says. "Do you think...maybe some way we could call on the
arch angel you mentioned?"

"Children? Yes, I definitely think we could. And should. He served David
before he was raised to Archangelhood. The easiest way to reach him is
probably via Stone..." Zach trails off, seeming to remember something and
squeezes her hand. "I know Factions and Stone are archenemies, but..."

Ruby nods, "I'm out of factions' servitude as it is. And I want to get
out of -hell's- servitude. I want to go home. You know...everyone told me
you're basically a rampage on legs. That you never stopped to listen and
that you don't have an ounce of pity or mercy in you. And...those were
all lies too. I don't think I've heard one single truth spoken in all
these years."

Zach sighs. "Truth is, I'm not sure how to get in contact with Stone
anyway. Not fast enough, I fear. My suggestion, and the most sensible
thing for us to do, is to sned word via Trade's Tether. I will get a
message sent up ot Archangel Christopher, asking him to meet us as soon
as possible. There is precious little time, and I don't want to lose you
to a meaningless death on the hands of Hellforces. I'll give my life to
protect you, but that might not be enough." He smiles and shakes his
head. "I'm the most laid-back and relaxed Malakite I know of. So yes,
you've been lied to in that respect too."

Ruby takes your hand in hers and squeezes it, "I won't let you give up
your life for me. I'm not worth it. I'm just a demon...even though I want
to repent. Dying for me would be senseless. You're needed. I'm not. If
they come for me, and you can't get me out of the way fast enough...let
them take me. They -can't- do worse to me...than I have already
suffered."

"I will not abandon you, I wouldn't even if I -didn't- have an Oath
binding me in that respect. It just isn't right." Zach brings her hands,
courtesy of lifting his own, to his mouth and kisses them tenderly. "See,
I may be a bit of a drifter, but I don't abandon someone in need. So --
what d'you say? Shall we try for the Trade Tether and get the message
upstairs?"

You say, "They owe me one, so..."

Ruby nods, "Let's go. If...I don't make it, will you do one more thing
for me, except bringing the message to Sarah?", she asks.

Zach smiles and dips his head in a nod. "I will. What do you need?"

Ruby says, "pray for me."

Ruby gets to her feet and looks towards the park exit...getting ready to
leave.

"I will. God bless you, Rubicante," he answers solemnly. Then he gets up
and carefully picks Harriet up in his arms. She is sleeping the sleep
of...an extremely tired Harriet. "I've my car parked outside," he tells
Ruby. "This way.." He starts walking down the path.

Ruby follows. Quietly.