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From: "Rick & Melissa Balkin" <Barnabus_B@msn.com>
Date: Tue, 13 Aug 1996 09:39:59 -0500 (CDT)
Subject: I'm back
 
 Hey everybody.  For those of you who do not remember, when I last left you 
 all, I was moving into a new house, which forced me to go off-line for a 
 while.  I'm back.  Or perhaps I should say we're back.  I do not want to 
 exclude my wife.  There are repercussions for that.  For those of you who do 
 not live in America, you may find this entry fascinating or extremely boring.  
 To my fellow Americans who are home owners, I dedicate this letter to you.  
 For those who are not home owners, please learn from my experience.
 
 My wife (Melissa) and I found the perfect house.  It was in great condition 
 and decorated beautifully.  We placed a bid for the house and were able to 
 drop the price down a few notches.  It was an excellent buy.  We even found 
 out that the owners wanted to close early so we could move in earlier.  
 Melissa and I shopped around for a refrigerator because these do not come with 
 the house.  Well, we agreed to close early, had all moving arrangements made 
 and the day we sign the papers, we are told that the owners are not moving on 
 the day they said and they are staying 14 extra days, the largest amount of 
 time allowed by the contract, which I signed and agreed to when my realtor 
 said "This is a standard housing contract."  
 
 Rule #1:  Never buy a house from a realtor who says "This is a standard 
 housing contract."  
 
 So we waited.  When an owner decides to stay longer than the closing date, 
 they have to pay you rent.  Had I known this was going to happen, I would have 
 charged them $125.00 a day.  Instead, I got a measely $25.00 per day.  Barely 
 enough to cover the house payment. 
 
 Rule #2:  If somebody ever does this to you, make them pay you lots and lots 
 of money.
 
 When the day came to get the keys, we were told to meet our beloved realtor at 
 the house at 10:00 a.m.  We were there promptly.  Upon arriving, the realtor 
 looks around and says "Do you have the keys?"  
 
 Rule #3:  If your realtor ever tells you to meet him so he can let you in your 
 new house and asks you "Do you have the keys?" try a swift kick to the groin.  
 (This was not done, however, in my case since our realtor drove a Lexus, had a 
 car phone, and probably a really good lawyer.)
 
 So, our realtor went on the "great key hunt."  He came back about 30 minutes 
 later.  He had our keys.  We got in our house.  We asked for the rent check 
 from the couple.  He did not have it.  Apparrently, their realtor never told 
 them they would have to pay rent.  
 
 Rule #4:  Do not be amazed.  There is still more to this story.
 
 Eventually, we got our money.  However, the refrigerator was still to come.  
 We had arranged to have a refrigerator to be delivered the day after we took 
 over the house.  On the day of delivery, I called the delivery people to find 
 out about what time they would be delivering the refrigerator.  Their response 
 was "We don't have a refrigerator to deliver."
 
 Rule #5:  What the (nasty expletive)?  I mean what the (nasty, nasty 
 expletive)!
 
 Upon further investigation, we found out that the refrigerator that I had 
 already purchased and was on hold for me at the warehouse was sold to somebody 
 else.  Due to the fact that this was a clearance model, they told me they 
 would give me their floor model, which they assured was in excellent condition 
 and had not been unwrapped.
 
 Rule #6:  Don't ever buy this line.  I have yet to go to an appliance store to 
 examine floor models and see any still wrapped in a box.  I can see it now:
 Buyer:  "This is a nice box."
 Dealer:  "And the merchandise in the box is equally nice."
 Buyer:  "I'll take two of them."
 
 They sent over the delivery people that afternoon with the refrigerator.  When 
 they brought it into my kitchen, they punctured 4 holes in the floor sliding 
 it in to place.  In addition to this, the "unwrapped floor model" had a 
 scratch on the base.    
 
 Rule #7:  Ready...Aim...Fire!
 
 We called the company, and they stated that this was the last model.  They 
 offered $50.00 and said their insurance would cover the floor damage.  We told 
 them "no deal."  They need to buy us a new kitchen floor and we want a refund 
 on the refrigerator.  Although this has been agreed upon, we have yet to hear 
 from their insurance company.  However, we have gotten two estimates, and the 
 only way the kitchen floor can repaired is to purchase a new one.
 
 Rule #8:  You can't repair a lanoleum kitchen floor.  You have to buy a new 
 one.
 
 So we went to Sears and got a better refrigerator.  They arrived when they 
 said they would and installed it without any problems.  Life appears to be 
 stablizing.  I hope this had been an educating experience for you.  It 
 certainly has for me.  I would like to leave you with a moral to this story, 
 but there is isn't one.  My e-mail address is still the same.  I look forward 
 to hearing from everyone.  I can be reached at Barnabus_B@msn.com.
 
 Rick Balkin
 4th degree black belt
 Little Rock, AR    



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