Smurfs for AD&D
I got this from the AD&D mailing list. Unfortunately, I stripped it for identifying headers and so on, so now I don't know who originally wrote it. Wasn't me, that's the only thing I'm certain of.
Smurfs huh? As long as you don't delve into the My Little Ponies, Strawberry Shortcake, or the Carebear universes as I am currently working on AD&D translations of those, I don't mind sharing...

Racial Stuff -

Smurfs are the result of Gnomes getting overly friendly with enchanted, intelligent blueberries and their racial package should reflect this. Smurf characters should use the Gnome template to see what modifiers apply to their attributes. They gain the Detect Pies and Tarts ability once per day.

Male Smurfs are particularly vulnerable to colds and upper respiratory infections as they run around without shirts all the time. As for female Smurfs and diseases, they are often plagued by urinary tract and yeast infections. (Well, Smurfette never seemed to be wearing any panties, did she? It's got to be rough on the various parts, open to the cold, bacteria-laden air and all...)

Class Stuff -

Despite their Gnomish heritage, Smurf players should ignore the Class restrictions placed on Gnomes. Instead, Smurfs take classes based upon their Proficiencies. Thus there are no Paladin or Wizard Smurfs, but rather Painter Smurf, Soprano Smurf, Blacksmith Smurf, Hooker Smurf (or would that be Hooker Smurfette?), or Farmer Smurf. (Kinda makes you wonder exactly what it was that Papa Smuf did in the little mushroom village, doesn't it? Kinda makes you realize why Papa Smurf seemed to be so relieved when Smurfette showed up...)

Occasionally, a Smurf will be named after his or her personality - such as Nihilistic Smurf - but this practice has declined since Gargamel went out of his way to smash Deliriously Happy Smurf between two rocks.

Smurfly Proficiencies -

Smurfs can choose from a number of new Proficiencies:

Clothing -

Smurf character are terribly limited fashion-wise. Unless their name - and hence their profession - calls for special clothing (as with Painter Smurf's frock and beret), then they are required to wear the white jammie bottoms and hat. Despite appearances, the hat is not made from the end of a reservoir tip condom and is actually the most expensive piece of clothing a Smurf will own.

Tailor Smurf was instrumental in vetoing a clothing optional mushroom village.

Housing -

Choices in housing are likewise limited (although Interior Decorator Smurf does not seem to mind). As anyone who has watched the cartoon program knows, the Smurfs build their houses from hollowed out mushrooms. Happy are the days when Builder Smurf makes a new home out of hallucinogenic raw materials and the times when he accidentally uses poisonous mushrooms speak to the continued need for Mortician Smurf.

Smurf Customs -

While perhaps the best known Smurf ritual is that of the circle dance, few know of the rule about not being able to retrieve one's pants should they accidentally drop during said activity. Smurfs who finds themselves with weak buttons and warm ankles must traditionally bear the brunt of jokes about their masculinity (even thimble-sized males can be concerned about size), the buffeting cold of the village square, and the cheerful song that accompanies the dance.

From Badminton Smurf being carried off by Azrael (Gargamel's cat) and being batted about for hours until his sad but ironic demise to Farmer Smurf's drowning in a cow pie in the South Field, the Smurf community is constantly beseiged by death and the possibility thereof. Many of the Smufs traditional rituals and customs center around grieving the loss of a loved one. The winter in particular is a time when Smurfs think about those who have died and keeping the population up.

Smurfly Magic -

As Smurfs are not allowed to take the Priest or Wizard Class, the idea of them using magic freely is problematic at best. While Papa Smurf casting spells in the cartoon was sensible and fitting in the cartoon, the AD&D system does not allow reality to be ignored in such a wholesale fashion.

It is therefore recommended that DMs only allow Smurf player characters to use magic if the player who controls them does him or her small favors. Cash donations are also acceptable. To keep the system honest and open, the greater the favor, the greater the level of the spell, and the character of the wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend of the DM may never use magic (lest the game be put on hold while the couple adjorns to...another room...cough, cough). This magic system is affectionately entitled "Here's My Five Bucks. Can I Cast That Wish Now?"

Adventure Hooks in the Smurf Universe -

1. Mulder Smurf and Scully Smurf are investigating the mysterious disappearance of Mysteriously Disappearing Smurf when they stumble upon a plot by Papa Smurf to keep the village from discovering the truth about the flu shots they all got last winter. Krycheck Smurf drugs Mulder Smurf and stuffs him into an abandoned railroad car while one of the grips gets Scully Smurf pregnant and Spinner Smurf comptemplates his out of blue body experience.

2. Ellen Smurf and Smurfette shock everyone.

3. Papa Smurf tries cannibalism.